tehShane

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perhapsrampancy:
“sorcererest-sorcerer:
“Do not cite the deep magics to me, witch. I was there when it was written.
”
Oh boy oh boy am I old as fuck.
”
Literal infants, the lot of you.
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perhapsrampancy:

sorcererest-sorcerer:

Do not cite the deep magics to me, witch. I was there when it was written.

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Oh boy oh boy am I old as fuck.

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Literal infants, the lot of you.

(via assassinregrets)

    • #i am exceedingly old
  • 4 weeks ago > toastbutteregg
  • 39065
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WAYFAIR WHAT THE FUCK

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    • #i know i just turned 40
    • #but holy fuck
    • #how rude
    • #how dare you
    • #wayfair
    • #i am incensed
    • #practically incandescent with rage
  • 6 months ago
  • 4
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the-best-url-on-this-site:

Kitchen Nightmares is really just like

Owners: i don’t know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help

Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food

Owners: we have the best food

*food comes out*

Gordon: this is an alive rat

Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.

*dinner service*

Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat

Waitress: is everything okay?

Customer: no it’s an alive rat

*food is sent back*

Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat

*Gordon goes in the freezer*

Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They’ve unionized.

*later*

Gordon: your food is bad

Owner: no!!!!!!!!

Gordon: yes

Owner: oh my god our food is bad

*remodel, menu change*

Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much

Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?

Owner: yes of course

*end of episode*

Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*

End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.

(via assassinregrets)

  • 7 months ago > the-best-url-on-this-site
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greelin:

greelin:

me: *humming as we leave the beach after promising not to take home MORE seashells that there is no room or use for*

my loving wonderful partner:

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love that i heard my husband losing his mind in the bathroom out of nowhere for several minutes then he just wordlessly sends me a screenshot of this post

(via assassinregrets)

  • 8 months ago > greelin
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underwaterfraulein:

bookpdf:

not being productive or relaxing but a secret third thing

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(via assassinregrets)

  • 8 months ago > bookpdf
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cosmic–static:

i love stray so much and sometimes i think about it a little too deep and make myself sad. we get three main characters that help our little stray kitty find their way back outside. All three of these characters come to see the cat as a friend, and each of them want to get outside with the cat. But each of these characters give up that dream so that the cat can finally get outside,,,


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Momo has been trying to reach their friends who left for outside for a while. Finally after meeting the your cat, Momo has the chance to find the rest of the outsiders, but part of the way through the sewers, you come across a door that needs to be opened manually meaning only one of you can get through. Momo insists you go through and find the other outsiders.


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You help Clementine break out of jail and tells you that theres no way both of you will make it with sentinels on your tails. She tells you that you’re an outsider now and that you have to go on without her because someone needs to make it outside. So Clementine locks the gate and distracts the sentinels while you escape and continue on you venture to outside.

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In order to open the city, B-12 destroys their own software knowingly. But it’s so that you can get outside. B-12 started the journey with the intentions to carry on the memories of humanity and make sure humanity is not forgotten. But after travelling witch your cat, B-12 finds that the robots and the cat do that well enough already. “But, I see a future in the companions. And you.”


They all make a sacrifice so that the cat can continue and get back outside and i just :’)

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(via assassinregrets)

    • #stray
    • #this game is the best game
    • #sobbed like a bébé
  • 11 months ago > cosmic--static
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scooplery:

the most fucking annoying thing about mental illness is that knowing more about it literally does not make a difference. you can watch your own insanity creep up on you in real time, know exactly where it’s coming from and what it’s gonna do to you, know all the silly little psychiatry words for all your silly little “symptoms”, and still have no control over its grip on you. like, i am NOT at the steering wheel in here at ALL bro.

(via assassinregrets)

    • #very dislike
  • 11 months ago > scooplery
  • 47977
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oursaviorkellinquinn:

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

(via assassinregrets)

    • #lizzo's about damn time
    • #but the beaker version
    • #miniminiminiminiminiminiminiminiminimini
  • 11 months ago > oursaviorkellinquinn
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teethapocalypse:

look at your phone lock screen. that’s your reason to keep goin

Pure spite.

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(via assassinregrets)

  • 1 year ago > teethapocalypse
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sassafrasy:

misuowen:

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Benadryl madness masterpost

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(via assassinregrets)

  • 1 year ago > misuowen
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Random, personal tomfoolery these days. Some NSFW in there from days gone by.

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